We need more ceremony

I think we can all agree the American culture is so screwed up that no one knows how to make it better. The Navajo say that it is because WE are out of harmony with nature. WE are certainly out of balance. So I thought about this as I watched the news: kid killing kids, elementary kids selling heroin, babies having babies. What is wrong here?

We have lost all sense of right or wrong. Our governments and businesses are corrupt. Our families our dysfunctional. Schools are lost in a quagmire of policies. No wonder our kids are lost; no wonder we are all lost.

History may show us some suggestions. What were people doing right in the past that we have forgotten? Simple traditions.

The most important traditions that we are missing our the coming of age ceremony for young boys and girls. In the past, these ceremonies were used as a sign that young people could marry. But we are living longer than 35, and I don't think suggesting marriage to a 13 or 14 year old is a good idea. But the ceremonies were important as instructional tools to teach young people their responsibilities.

Among Apache: pubescent girls are chanted into womanhood over 4 days by elders. They call the primordial mother was the White Painted Woman. Elders build a ceremonial lodge: 4 main poles (4 directions of earth, 4 seasons, 4 stages of life, 4 myth grandfathers who hold up universe Before dawn, first day, girls dressed by godmothers. (guides). Outside, sprinkled with yellow cattail pollen (fertility). Close ceremony, girls run 4 times around a basket filled with fruit, nuts, candy, and money. (4 times symbolizes: infancy, childhood, adulthood, old age). While running reenacts White painted Woman's travels : 1st West, as old woman, and returned from East as young girl. After 4 times round basket, it is tipped (bounty is out: easy for her to get). Girl returns to lodge: godmother explains responsibilities of sex and motherhood. 4th night, girl dances for welfare of community - sunset to sunrise "You will become the mother of a nation" *

Gabon, Africa: Eshira girls painated white and wearing red adornments for Mabandji rite. Red = life force, white = strength and good reproductive health.*

Kota people of Congo: paint faces Ghost-like colour blue = transformation of boy to man. (age 9-10) Used to sacrifice wild animals, now, after schooling is completed, gifts of money take the place of sacrificing wild animal. * reprinted The Circle of Life (Edited by David Cohen

The Jewish people practice the coming of age ceremony with Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and their children don't seem as lost as the rest of us.

Perhaps if we had a ceremony as a child reaches "coming of age" where we celebrated the child and had elders/grandparents/Aunts/Uncle etc.(not parents-because we all know kids don't listen to parents much). teach the child about the responsibilities of sex and the responsibilities of the family. If we could teach the children that their are choices, some better than others and the consequences of those choices. If young people had a clue of what to expect in life rather than spending a life time trying to figure it out or worst yet trying to correct stupid mistakes.

How to do a ceremony: Add your own flair but here is a suggestion. A weekend is picked for the ceremony. On Friday dinner, the family gathers and have a simple meal explaining how proud they are of the child, etc. stories from mom and dad and family. The young person is sent to a special room by self no tv's etc. for the weekend. This begins the time of silence., a time of thinking and dreaming.

Saturday parents and siblings can not talk to the child. This is a time when the women for girls and the men for boys one by one talk to the young person. Usually the Grandparents are the ones that talk about sex and the Aunts and Uncles talk about family, life, jobs, country responsibilities etc. The child stays in the room. Food is brought, only bathroom breaks.

On Sunday, the young person takes a shower, puts on new clothes and with much pomp and drumming and or music or cheering etc. presents themselves as no longer a child, but a full member of the family. The Elders speak, the young person speaks and then gifts are given and they have a great feast, with happy music.

Anyway you get the idea. A coming of Age ceremony is very important part of life and we need to recreate this ceremony so our children understand the preciousness and responsibilities of life.