Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Leroy the Amish man Part Two


Part 2

With the temperatures being in the upper 90’s, sitting at the bar at Applebee’s was a cool break. I didn’t have the AC in my car and the heat was getting to me. I wondered how the Amish survived the heat. Leroy said, “Ah we’re joust oused to it.” (Add the accent). He told me about one of his friends, (or maybe it was him) had gotten very drunk up at the YP, (that’s Your Place for non PA residents.) The Amish man got into his buggy and was driving back to Strasburg on Route 30. He forgot to put on his safety flashers and was stopped by the police. The police asked him to get out of the buggie. The man stumbled and was found to be drunk. He was driving a buggy drunk. He was taken to jail on a DUI. His poor wife had to come in the middle of the night to get the buggie. Imagine that call…The man had to call his “English” neighbor to go down and wake up his wife so she could go get the buggie. The man had to spend time in jail. The funny thing is they let him out every morning and evening to go milk the cows. So that’s how the Amish get DUI’s.

Meanwhile ol’ Leroy is pretty happy and keeps asking if we are going to “my place or yours.” He was clearly hoping for alittle action. I wasn’t interested in putting an Amish notch on my bedpost. I kept saying I had to get back to the RV because I was worried about the dog. I guess there are women who would like to try an Amish man. You could see that in his younger days Leroy might have been handsome, and he probably had his share. He just seemed like a 50 year old man trying to be 18.

So after relieving the horse again, our next stop was Brewer’s Outlet, where again they all knew him. Leroy bought a case of Genesee Cream Ale. We dropped off half of the case at a friend’s house. He asked me to come in. “No thanks.” Then we drove down the road to another neighbor’s house where he took all but three beers. Interesting hiding beers all over. Then finall,y we drove down the lane to his families farm house. I parked in front of his workshop. I could see a buggy parked in the barn and a few eyes peering out the windows.

A small Jack Russell mixed female dog with large sore tits greeted me. Her name was Sadie. She was a sweet dog. She walked over to the porch and out popped six puppies. Leroy said she got out one night. One of the puppies looked like Dakota, black with white tips, several were brown, and one looked like a mini Doberman. Sadie got around that night! We talked about dogs; our dogs now and the ones in heaven. We agreed that most animals are smarter than humans. Leroy offered me a puppy. If I had a place, I would have taken the baby Dakota dog.

Finally Leroy showed me his shed where he does his crafts. There is some paintings and some blue jay parts. He showed me what he was doing. I thought it was a cool idea and said I could paint them. I told him to give me the parts and I would paint them. But now I needed to go. He gave me a quick hug and I drove back down the lane, which looked like a tunnel of corn.

Ok SO YOU THINK THE STORY IS OVER??? Well it’s not.

Several hours later, Leroy calls to ask if he left his cell phone in my car, which he did. I said I would drop it off tomorrow morning at Katie’s Kitchen.. I wondered if he did that on purpose??

So it is twilight now and Dakota and I were taking our walk around the campground. Dakota drags me over to this pop-up camper. There is a Canadian man and woman there. She loves animals and attracted Dakota by her smiles…and the smell of food. Her name is Natalie and I can’t remember his name, but he is a Bus driver. We started talking. The bus driver offered me a real treat, a real Canadian Beer..yea…Dakota got some food. Dakota got to play Frisbee with the bus driver.

I talked some about my adventures on the road.

Natalie said they went out to dinner at a diner and there was an Amish guy sitting near her. He had his pants pinned together with a safety pin and he had a black painted straw hat. She said the waitress called him Leroy. And I said have I got a story for you…..

Postnote: Leroy called back once to see if I could drive him. I was busy that day. I never did do any work on his birds.

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